Time is not something that we have a lot of. The past 12 weeks have proven that.
Henry is doing brilliantly. He is feeding well and growing perfectly weighing 14lb 3oz at 12 weeks old. Our time with him is going so fast I’m struggling already to remember what he was like at first. The sleepless nights and windy smiles. Those days when all we did was worry and cry. It certainly wasn’t easy at first. Don’t get me wrong – life with a newborn was truly amazing and I would not change it for anything. But I’m so glad Henry has settled down now and is predictable. And he is a good sleeper. Minus the last few nights which have been disturbed by teething.
He is three months old now and I don’t know where the time has gone. He smiles and laughs everyday. Especially whilst having his nappy changed. He holds his head up steadily and can sit up straight with assistance. He grabs his rattle and then lets go of it – he hasn’t figured out that he has to hold on to it to keep it in his hand. He will chew on his fingers. He shouts if we have left him to entertain himself for too long. He tries to grab hold of Niall’s fur if he comes close. He doesn’t like to be laying back but would much prefer to be sitting up and watching TV. He loves to kick his whole body in the bath while one of us gets in to hold him. He changes so much every day I can’t keep up with all of his quirks.
K was diagnosed with Post Natal Depression 6 weeks ago. She is seeing a therapist and is on medication which is helping a little. I always thought this type of depression was defined by a difficulty for the mum to bond with the baby. This isn’t true for K. She has a bond with Henry that is wonderful to see. Her depression is defined by her lack of confidence in herself and her capabilities to be a mum. She has always had little confidence in herself and likes reassurance regularly. Since having Henry this has worsened. She has had a lot of down days amongst the good. She is an amazing mum and just needs to realise this herself. Things are gradually getting better.
It was this time last year that Henry was conceived. A lot of things could have worked out very differently. It was on that day that K didn’t feel like trying for him. She hated the insemination process so much but I managed to persuade her to try just that one last time then we would discuss other methods. We talk about that day all of the time and how glad we are that we carried on. We feel so lucky that K got pregnant on our second attempt. We feel even luckier that we now have a happy and healthy little boy. We count our lucky stars every day. That’s if we get time, of course!
So I finally got around to putting Henry’s birth into words. My take on it will be slightly different to K’s and some parts of it are sketchy but I will do my best! Also this post will contain uncensored honest experiences and graphic details.
On K’s due date we woke up all excited as K had a stretch and sweep at hospital which *hopefully* would start something. Unfortunately it was not to be as her cervix was too far back and closed too tightly for the midwife to do it. That afternoon we resolved ourselves to the fact that baby would be overdue. We never thought K would go over. She had been having so many niggles and baby had dropped very low. Later that week K had false starts every other night. Full blown 3 minutes apart contractions for over 2 hours at a time. At 41 weeks pregnant K went in for another stretch and sweep at 10:30am and thankfully it was successful. We were told that if it would work it should be between 24 and 48 hours. 36 hours later (it was strangely right in the middle of the time frame for it to work) K’s contractions started. 3 and a half minutes apart right from the start. We thought it was another false start so didn’t get too excited. K had a bath and then we tried to get some sleep. K rang the hospital to ask for advice and they said to wait until they were more intense.
At 2am K was in too much pain to sleep and she really wanted to watch Arthur Christmas (seriously) so that’s what we did. At 4am K lost her plug and her contractions got more painful and intense so she called the hospital and she could hardly say a word so they said to go in. We didn’t get there til 5:30 and K was examined straight away. She was 5cm dilated and we went straight into the birthing centre and the birth pool was filled. We couldn’t believe she was so far along already as K was coping really well with the pain. She loved being in the pool and stayed in there pretty much the whole time. The midwife and student midwife who were assigned to us were wonderful. After a few hours in the pool K started on the gas and air. It’s heaven apparantley. I can believe that. At about 9:30 K’s waters broke in the pool and the pain got much worse. She didn’t complain at all she was truely amazing. Contractions were one after another at this stage to the point where she could barely get out of the pool to be examined. She was 10cm at 10:30am (note this was 48 hours after her stretch and sweep -strange or what?!) and after a passive hour she started to push.
After just over an hour of pushing I could see baby’s head but it wasn’t coming down. K’s legs were put into stirrups quickly and a consultant was rushed in to make a decision on what needed to be done. This is where it got scary and I struggled to hold it together whilst supporting K. The lovely doctor said K was pushing perfectly but it seemed that baby had turned to face the wrong way at the last minute. I was ushered aside while they prepped K for theatre and brought out forms for her to scribble on in case she needed a c section. She was terrified but it was a bit of a blur and all we wanted was baby out safely. I got into scrubs as K was given a spinal and prepped on the table. I had no idea what was going on. By the time I got next to K in theatre baby was put onto her chest straight away at 14:03.
The midwife asked me to tell K what we had and honestly it was the most amazing thing in this world that I could hardly see his parts for tears. He had a purple head and wasn’t breathing so they whisked him off to rub him down. His cry was such a relief. He wasn’t gone long before he was brought back wrapped in a blanket and had a little hat on. I held him and we both cried and stared at him and smiled. He was real and he was ours.
It was a while until K was moved to a recovery room as her third degree tear was stitched and re-stitched and lost 1.5 litres of blood. Henry was born with forceps in a rush as his heart rate dropped when K got into theatre. They almost didn’t get me into the room on time. Our little one was naughty until the very last second and even turned in the forceps just as they were clamped down. He had a bruised nose and lip and marks on his forehead for a while afterwards. He was still perfect. And he was ours.
The care we received was outstanding even when K’s labour changed direction. It meant so much to us that even though we were in theatre the midwives made sure that I was the one to tell K he’s a boy. The whole experience was incredible and despite the extended recovery that K is currently not enjoying she would do it all over again.
Here he is now at 25 days old.
Baby Henry was born on Tuesday 9th December weighing a squishy 8lb 11oz.
He is just perfect. K is doing really well despite a forceps delivery and an infection although it will be a while until she is completely healed. I will post a full birth story post soon as well as how we’re getting on with adjusting to life with our newborn. For now here are more photos of our little character.
There is only three weeks and two days left until the due date of our little bundle. I have no idea how we got here so fast. How did it get to November already?!
All is brilliant over here at the moment K is positively glowing and has the cutest most perfect bump I have ever laid eyes on. I will get a photo of her later on today. She officially started maternity leave on Monday but has been off work for about 8 weeks as she has SPD made much worse by her physical duties at work so was signed off sick on full pay. Resting has helped her a lot but she isn’t one to sit still for too long.
We had our photoshoot last week but we won’t get to see them until we go back for the newborn one. It was a little awkward as neither of us are particularly comfortable in front of the camera especially with a stranger. It went well – not as bad as I thought it was going to be!
We are ready for baby to arrive any minute (as much as you can be if you don’t have experience with newborns). Our new house is ready, I’ve decorated the kitchen and tidied up the garden and everywhere else is fine for now. All of our baby things are washed and ready. I can’t help but keep reorganising everything in the nursery. Those cloth nappies are just the cutest and we can’t wait to use them on our real little squish! The hospital bag is also ready.
Our little potato was being a naughty squish up until this week. It was breech!! But yesterday at K’s regular midwife appointment baby is now head down and facing the back. That was a relief to say the least! Googling C Section and ECV for breech babies was not something I enjoyed. We’re just keeping our fingers crossed that baby doesn’t move back round.
The names we decided on towards the beginning of K’s pregnancy have been replaced by names that have stuck. Middle names are, however, the same as they are family names.
I don’t have any problem with the baby having only K’s surname. I also don’t mind that I won’t be on the birth certificate even though we fully intend on second-parent adoption after we marry.
In other un-related news – I have a new job! I didn’t get a full time job that I had an interview for a few days ago but I had a successful interview for a part time job which I can do alongside my other part time job so I will be working over 40 hours per week very soon. This is to replace the pay that K will be losing when her 12 weeks full pay are over and she moves onto statutory maternity pay. Hopefully it will work out quite well and we coul use the extra income from me doubling my wage!!
Hope all the bumps and babies who follow are doing well! K and I love reading your updates 🙂
At our 20 week scan our little potato was doing very well kicking the wand and moving too much to be checked. We ended up having a very long scan but we didn’t mind. We probably won’t have another now until we actually meet our little one.
We have been in our new house for almost a month. It has been madness and we just haven’t stopped. Well… K has done more watching than doing but we’re getting there. We were sure to get everything sorted in the house before touching the nursery but it didn’t take long at all. It is so beautiful!
We just need to get the gliding chair and put a couple of shelves up for books and fairy lights.
When K got to 24 weeks on Sunday we just wanted to get things sorted and we’re so happy now we mostly have.
We have completely changed our mind about possible names. Why is it so hard to name a little human? We won’t fully decide until we meet him/her.
K is doing very well recently. She’s feeling great overall. Just a little heavy and off-balance due to the sudden shift in her centre of gravity. Her bump is so cute I will try to get a bump pic for my next post! It’s so adorable. I feel baby move every day it’s very surreal I never expected it to be like this. It’s so much better than I ever imagined.
There are quite a few changes happening lately which have restricted my time considerably!
1. I am no longer a student! I have successfully completed my BSc Psychology degree with a 2:1 classification! I was so surprised when I found out I have managed to improve my average by 5% to achieve the higher grade. I have always only managed 2:2 results until this point. I even got a 1st result for my favourite module (sexuality in context… Figures). My friend S managed to get her 1st grade which I am so pleased about. She worked so hard for that. I haven’t heard a thing from my other friends. Maybe that’s a sign of things to come.
2. I’ve been applying for a few jobs. Subsequent from finishing university I have increased the hours that I work with my cousin. I have mentioned her before. I have so much respect for those people who work with individuals with learning difficulties and behavioural problems because it is so hard. It’s honestly draining. I don’t think I will be able to work with her much longer for my own sanity. It’s not her fault I know but I don’t feel like I could cope for much longer. It was only supposed to be an in-between job anyway.
3. We are moving house! It’s about damn time too. Our landlord is luckily out of the country until August so he isn’t available to pester us or get involved in our decision to move out. We are, however, anticipating problems when we apply for the return of our deposit. The house we’re moving to is much closer to K’s work and is a little bigger. It’s nothing fancy but we absolutely can’t wait to get it all homely for our little one. We’ve never even put pictures up in this house. We moved here when K’s dad kicked her out and had to find somewhere to live quickly. Hopefully we can finally get our home in our new house. We’re overdue for settling in considering we’ve been living together for almost two years. We are moving in two weeks and Im so ready and organised with the packing we could move tomorrow! I’ve moved house so many times I could do it with my eyes closed.
3. K is getting a real bump! I love it so much she looks beautiful pregnant. She’s been wearing baggy tops until this week when we got her lots of maternity clothes that were on sale. She put them on on Thursday and there was the bump! We went to my little cousin’s last school show and my family were saying “where did THAT come from!” I was wondering the same myself. She feels our little potato move every day now. Usually after eating or after relaxing for a while. I was feeling it tonight and I could feel a hard ball shape which moved after a few seconds. It was so incredible I can’t wait to be able to feel it properly kicking. We have the 20 week scan in 9 days 🙂
4. Everyone now knows we are having a baby – everyone that matters that is. My dad was awkward at first and he didn’t talk about it and then this week he texted me suggesting baby names he liked (they were bloody horrible but I went along with it). These included Neil, Gail and Mandy. Now I know why my mum named my brothers and I. The same day that I heard from my dad was when my mum went into work with our scan pic and played the game “guess who’s pregnant”. They thought it was my mum (could have been.. She’s only 47) but she set them straight. Again on that day K got a call from her nan to tell her that she’s been on the phone to aunts uncles and cousins in Ireland to tell them that K is having a baby with a woman. Aparantly the Irish response was “oooo really we don’t see much of that around here”. So there you go – most of Ireland probably know by now if they are as gossip-prone as K’s nan.
Here is a photo of Spencer enjoying his regular teeth floss after a good clean to finish off my update!